Harry Potter and The Great Computer Caper
by Bloodredwings
Summary: Mr. Weasley was fooling around with a new PC, and, naturally... well, guess. Rated T for implications on strongish language... written with my friend Lanikai


Harry, Ron and Hermione are round at the burrow. Ron is being an insensitive git. Naturally.

Mr Weasley has brought home a muggle computer and is fiddling around with it. The three teenagers are watching.

Harry: Er...Mr Weasley...are you sure you're supposed to be doing that?

Mr Weasley: Yes, yes Harry, I'm fine thanks.

_There is a loud beeping noise and the screen goes blank._

Mr W: ... heh ...I'll just go and ring my chums at the Drills company... Got to make use of the old Phellytone now and again.

_He leaves._

Ron: I could have done better if only he'd let me have a go...

Hermione: sniffle 

_Ron turns on the computer_

Ron: Stupid bit of muggle tat.

_He points his wand at the poor, unforunate PC._

Hermione & Harry: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Ron: COMPUTERUS VACCUAS!

**_(A/N: For pure reading pleasure, we have now changed the tense of our wonderful legend.)_**

_Suddenly everything in the room began to whizz towards the computer. Hermione's book, however, was so heavy that it held her down, and she watched in horror as the entire content of the room including her two friends were sucked into the computer screen._

Hermione: Holy f!!!!!!!!

_Harry and Ron's last thoughts before the PC claimed them were exactly the same._

Harry and Ron: Hermione swore! Mother of F!!!!!! 

Hermione: Hang on a seccyweccy...I can...FLY...no...wrong story...shame...

**_(A/N: For pure reading pleasure, we have yet again changed the tense of this fantastical legend.)_**

_She walks over to the computer._

Hermione: HARRY! RON 3! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!? Wait just one second...What? Harry? Ron 3? Oh my!

_Harry and Ron have become little pixelated people sitting on the icons on the desktop._

Harry (looks around his new home in the COMPUTER SCREEN):Not too bad, eh?

Hermione: I quite like you as pixel people...

Ron: Yeah...Hermione, what are you doing!?

_She has opened a new window on the computer. Harry, seeing she is about to click the 'Online Boxing' button, grabs hold of the cursor._

Harry: No! Hermione, please!!! Ron, back me up here!

_Ron grabs hold of Harry's legs just as he is about to be dragged away._

Hermione: This should be interesting...hee hee!

_(She cackles, chokes and dies...jks!)_

Ron: Er, 'Mione? You 'kay out there? I mean, 'sup, dude?

Harry: Ron, the "rude boi" stage is officially OVER! It's all about surfer dudes now...totally man...

Ron: Omigod, yoo racist muva fcka yoo!

Harry: Like... Dude... that was _totally_ uncalled for...by the way, dude, did I say about those dudette surfers and beach babes? I mean, like, WOWZA!

Hermione: Um...

Ron: Omigod, that is lyk sooo ova now! But I still lyk dem beach babes oo yeh!

Hermione: Oh...

Ron: Yoo gotta problem or summin', biatch?

Harry: NOOO! She's doing it again!

Ron: Dammit bruv, I thorted we distracted her, innit.

Harry: Stop that!

Ron: Sorry old chap...

Hermione: Good enough...heehee..revenge is mine!

_Harry and Ron are suddenly spun into a vortex of boxing randomness. Hermione immediately takes control of the keys, and makes Harry punch Ron continuously._

Harry: Sorry mate!

Ron: Stop it! Ow!

Harry: Sorry old chum! Truly...

_Ron gets thrown against the side of the screen and the scene changes to that of a Harry Potter computer game._

Harry: What the hell? I hate fighting Voldie in the real world, but this is worse.

Ron: Oh my God? Who IS that weird orange haired freak?

Harry: It's you, mate.

Ron: ...

_Ron goes and kicks the animated version of himself off the screen, and animated Voldie hits him with a spell. Ron begins to strut around the screen like a chicken and Hermione falls off her chair laughing._

Harry: Ron, mate, snap out of it...

Ron: _Cluck!_

Hermione: Ah... Revenge is sweet... Oooh...zwinkys!

Harry and Ron: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

_Hermione then proceeds to dress Ron in a miniskirt and a bikini top. Harry gets to model a barrel. Hermione goes to get a drink. Mr. Weasley enters._

Mr. Weasley: It seems that the Ministry wants me to hand this back. I'd best be returning it now.

_He picks it up and..._

Harry and Ron: Nooooo! Don't unplu-

_...the plug is pulled out of the socket. _

_Hermione returns a few minutes after he has left._

Hermione: Oh. Shit.


End file.
